A husband's, father's, poet's, educator's, and MC's Blog

An Ode To Moms

damadalpha — Fri, 07 May 2010 15:43:40 +0000

Scholars, politicians, media outlets, and public opinion imply and suggest that the Black community is in conscious disarray as a result of the overwhelming number of single Mothers raising children. While the lack of presence of the Black Father in the community does leave some households at a disadvantage, the recent barrage of negative press towards Black women creates a negative connotation towards the strongest and often understated figure of the Black community; the Black Mother.

Going back to my days in Brooklyn, my fondest memories are all connected to my Mother & my Grandmothers; the strongest women I know; the women that held down several jobs, fed hungry children, loved unconditionally, gave when they didn’t have to give, sacrificed beyond belief. All the while, smiling with pride of her creations, and quick to punch you in the chest, if need be. That dichotomy of beauty and strength is what personifies a Black Mother. The ability to withstand prejudice, racism, societal disregard & degradation is what makes the Black Mother so powerful.

In my own life, my Mother has been a constant life giving force. Her positive energy has been an example to me and she is responsible for molding me through love and force, into the man I am today. I would know nothing of manhood without my Mother. Her Godly and guiding spirit has been steady in my life for 33 years, and I am blessed to have her in my life. She has overcome the kinds of pain and loss that either makes you or breaks you. Needless to say, she made it and continues to do so with grace, humility, and style. Everything you are, makes me everything I am. And I thank you.

My grandmother…my Mom’s mom is no longer with us on Earth. Her spirit watches over me like she did when she was here. My Mom is who she is because of my Grandmother. Unlike my Mom, Mavis Thomas had a more stern and strict shell. She didn’t smile too much…but when she did, it made the sun jealous. Everyone held a sincere respect/fear for Ms. Thomas. She was quick to spit out a couple Jamaican curse words your way…with love, of course. My grandmother had an uncanny ability to read people. She knew about a person before they could speak. As the first grandchild, she loved me with all of her heart. All that she had, she poured into her “Mikey.” I remember her playing “Blessed Assurance” on the out-of-key piano where I first learned to play. Her memory and spirit stays with me always.

My Mudds…My Father’s Mom. Her spirit also watches me everyday. Our time together was cut short due to distance and years of strained family relationships, but her presence in my life was just as strong. Mudds’ presence was as big as her heart; standing over 6 feet tall. When she “asked you” to do something…you better have it down before the sentence is over.” She is yet another example of a black woman that sacrificed for her entire family; moving her 8 children from Trinidad to Brooklyn with little more than the clothes on their back. She was a living example of dedication and sacrifice. Her entire life was dedicated to her children and her grandchildren. She loved us all, but much like Mavis, all it took was one look, and a raise of her eyebrow, and you knew what was about to happen. I loved how Mudds smelled. I loved hearing her laugh. I loved the accent of her voice. I loved the stories she told. And the Roti she would make just for me! Her long salt/pepper hair flowed down her back. We used to watch her get dressed for Kingdom Hall. We knew she was ready to go when she put her lipstick on. Mudds worked hard to keep her family together and sacrificed endlessly so we could be successful. That’s what Mothers do.

And for my finale…I reflect and look upon a new Mother as she innately channels the energy of the Mothers before her. My wife Danielle, from day 0 of Motherhood showed the love and sacrifice that is embedded in the hearts and souls of all Mothers. It is the most magnificent feeling to know that our son will have the powerful feelings of love and connection that only a son can have with his Mom. It’s heart-warming to see the love that we created in our marriage transfer toward our son. I have nothing but respect and admiration for my wife. Handling a demanding job; working 50 hours/week; tending to her husband, all the while giving 150% to Ellington…with such grace…is inspiring, to say the least.

To all of the Mothers out there…the good Moms…and to the Moms that don’t recognize their power yet, please know that… we see you…we recognize you…we celebrate you…not only on the 2^nd Sunday in May, but early and often throughout the year. Peace and Love,

Your sons.

The Idea of Manhood…

damadalpha — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:35:21 +0000

The idea of Manhood, is nebulous like black holes
And harder to find that Sadaam in man holes
And they say you’re defined by those around you
But what if nothing but assholes surround you
They say you can find a definition on TV
But who’s our role models, Sean Carter, Cosby
Out of touch with reality like PS3 games
The only reason we listen is the strength of your last name
We all know that you’re so out of touch
Looking over his glasses, looking down on us
So condescending
So reprimanding
So not-seeing-the issues-from the pedestal your standing
Maintaining the same frame of mind is just insane
‘Specially when you’re getting older and you’re losing membranes
Sayin’ you’re a soldier to avoid the mundane
Means nothing to me, like Chic-fil-a on Sundays
They ask “how you doin,” and you say “Maintainin’?”
But what’s “Maintain’” when you’re covering pain
The idea of manhood means nothing to women
Just a battle for position while pushin’ and pullin’
And in my humble O-PIN-ION
Most ladies can’t keep a man, cuz you don’t understand them
See, you believe all the BS like Mars and Venus
We don’t think w/our hearts, right, and only with our penis
And while sometimes that might be true
Deep down inside you want the same things too
See, Society teaches us to be less expressive
And internalize the bullshit and everyday stresses
So, while you cry from cards in hallmark stores
We become cold inside and clench our jaws
This could be a reflection of the lines I just mentioned
Or it may be a simple cry out for attention
See, we’re a little more complex than TV may say
To them, we’re all thugs, drug dealers, wife beaters, or gay
But what about the providers, the fathers, the teachers,
The soldiers, the preachers, the doctors, the leaders
The idea of Manhood means more, and I hope ya
Not listening to everything you hear on Oprah
Her ideas are hers, and opinions they may be
But how you have shows on motherhood, but ain’t got no babies?
Shows about relationship and keeping your life in order
With no man, a chef, and an assistant to take orders
Just keep that in mind,
When you’re standing behind
Every book club, every show, every line
If anything, first learn knowledge of self
And soon come prosperity, the love, and the wealth
See, the idea of manhood means more than it may seem
More than the future of a young boy’s dream
From birth to death, and everything in between
Honoring, loving, and respecting your Queen
Is the cornerstone of what being a King is
And with all, the damn thing is
They still portray us as being cavemen
We still seeing the aftermath of being slaves, man
Trying to get out of this box, but the damn lock sticks
So many of our relationships are so damn toxic
Most people have no idea, forreal
Or do they really care, forreal
Turning to books, blogs, and bogus banter of us black boys
Is like turning to TV, just to hear the white noise
On every channel, do you see how they depict me?
My grandmother would say “A look at dem Picnee.
The idea of manhood is relatively uncharted
And that’s exactly the reason I started
In a way that’s a little more appeasing
Than me standing up here yelling or screaming,
while beating my chest,
But hey, that’s what we do best…
RIGHT?

They Won’t Go When I Go

damadalpha — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 02:18:35 +0000

Stronger words have never been written, nor are more suited for a tribute to Michael Jackson…

They Won’t Go When I Go
Music Stevie Wonder – Lyrics Yvonne Wright

No more lying friends
Wanting tragic ends
Though they do pretend
They won’t go when I go
All those bleeding hearts
With sorrows to impart
Were right here from the start
And they won’t go when I go
And I’ll go where I’ve longed
To go so long
Away from tears
Gone from painful cries
Away from saddened eyes
Along with him I’ll bide
Because they won’t go when I go
Big men feeling small
Weak ones standing tall
I will watch them fall
They won’t go when I go
And I’ll go where I’ve longed
To go so long
Away from tears
Unclean minds mislead the pure
The innocent will leave for sure
For them there is a resting place
People sinning just for fun
They will never see the sun
For they can never show their faces
There ain’t no room for the hopeless sinner
Who will take more than he will give
He ain’t hardly gonna give
The greed of man will be
Far away from me
And my soul will be free
They won’t go when I go
Since my soul conceived
All that I believe
The kingdom I will see
‘Cause they won’t go when I go
When I go
Where I’ll go
No one can keep me
From my destiny.

Wow!

damadalpha — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 19:53:25 +0000

A group of friends and I were having beef on Twitter. Not real beef, but still.

I sent them, what I call a striking picture of Amber Rose, Kanye’s on and off again main chic. Striking meaning that you are immediately drawn to stop and stare, as if in awe. It’s not necessarily about her body or figure…but the entire experience of looking at her is striking.

I sent them a message, along with the picture below, simply stating “WOW!”

Amber Rose

Some of my people are saying it’s a “hot” picture, but not a WOW picture. All I’m saying is…what does a WoW picture consist of…because this here…is like Wow!

What’s the verdict? Is this a “Wow” pic or what? I’m thinking (and KNOWING) it is!!!

Where have I Been?

damadalpha — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 16:51:04 +0000

Yeah, I’ve been Casper on my blog, due to my gig writing for the examiner.com. While it’s definitely rewarding to write for the Examiner, it’s also limiting, because I’m unable to REALLY GO IN on some topics that need to be gone into. LOL.

I’m going to continue writing for the Examiner.com, but I must also not forget about my blog. It’s absolutely imperative for me to tell you my perspective; not that my perspective is to be praised and studied…but I do feel like I have a relative unique perspective and a positive spin on most topics.

Thanks for checking in…and I’ll be sure to keep it moving on this site…

When you have time, check out my Examiner site as well!

http://www.examiner.com/x-7491-Baltimore-Hip-Hop-Examiner

Dear Radio, I’m through!

damadalpha — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 13:15:06 +0000

Turn off the radio...turn off the B.S.

I know I said that I wasn’t going to use this blog for negativity…but I just can’t hold it in any longer!

I can’t do it anymore, captain…I just can’t!

The radio makes me want to vomit! A LOT!

So, I’m listening to a Morning Show in the DC metropolitan area…and they’re doing another “People Pole Question” about the same tired, boring, wack a$$ topics that they do once every 2 days…

Do women want men with money… or some BS like that.

And, honestly…it’s not so much about the music. It’s these wack-a$$ morning (and some evening) talk shows. I’m tired of the divisiveness. I’m tired of men vs. women talk. I’m tired of black vs. white talk. I’m tired of these ridiculous, juvenile, sensationalized topics that are purposefully and mindlessly thrown together to be “controversial.”

We can’t ignore the music, right? I get that they have crap to sell, and money to make…but at what expense? Kids (and adults) listen to this crap…and it’s psychological and emotional programming. Even the damn commercials…sickening. How many times can you play “Stanky Leg” in a 2 hour period. How many times can you play “Blame it on the Goose.” 10 year-olds are singing these songs word-for-word…talking about “Blame it on the Vodka…Blame it on the Henny.”

I’ve been listening the radio less and less for the past 5-6 years now…but I think I’m officially done, besides traffic and news. iPod it is.

OK, I’m done.

Continue with your day!

Mos Doom

damadalpha — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 16:27:54 +0000

What’s up fam?

I’m not sure how familiar y’all may be with “underground” hip hop artist DOOM…a.k.a. MF Doom, V iktor Vaughn, Zev Love X, King Geedorah, Metal Fingers, etc….

On the real…(and I’ve thought long and reflected for a minute about this…)

Doom…..

may be……

one of the most lyrically advanced hip hop artists of all time. He not only rhymes the words (’cause that’s easy…and has little to do with being a good MC)…this dude rhymes and connects 4-5 words per sentence…he uses the # of syllables and matching consonants to connect phrases and link his flow between stanzas. I’m telling you…very few artists have ever even TRIED to do it…nor CAN THEY do it.

His flow is so unorthodox…it’s almost not like music. You can’t just put on his albums and nod your head to it…because you’ll probably miss something. FORREAL!

If you are not in touch with DOOM…you are truly missing out on one of hip hop’s greatest lyricist.

If you don’t believe me…check out what Mos Def had to say about him…

“Rappers is strippin’ males, out of work jerks, since they shut down chip’ n dales…they chippin’ nails…Doom…tippin’ scales…let alone the auditors countin’ all the ship and sales…this goes out to all my peoples, skippin’ bail…

Make it a good day!

damadalpha — Tue, 24 Mar 2009 13:12:48 +0000

What’s up Fam?

I can’t even say where I got this from. I didn’t make all of them up, but I added a few in there…These were very strong statements for me. I hope they add a positive spin to your day, week, month, year, etc! Peace!

Which one means the most to you at this time in your life, and why?

1. No one can ruin your day without YOUR permission.
2. Most people will be about as happy, as they decide to be.
3. Others can stop you temporarily, but only you can do it permanently.
4. Whatever you are willing to put up with,is exactly what you will have.
5. Success stops when you do.
6. When your ship comes in.... make sure you are willing to unload it.
7. You will never "have it all together."
8. Life is a journey...not a destination. Enjoy the trip!
9. The biggest lie on the planet: "When I get what I want, I will be happy."
10. The best way to escape your problem is to solve it.
11. I've learned that ultimately, 'takers' lose and 'givers' win.
12. Life's precious moments don't have value, unless they are shared.
13. If you don't start, it's certain you won't arrive.
14. We often fear the thing we want the most.
15. He or she who laughs......lasts.
16. Yesterday was the deadline for all complaints.
17. Look for opportunities...not guarantees.
18. Life is what's coming....not what was.
19. Success is getting up one more time.
20. Now is the most interesting time of all.
21. When things go wrong....don't go with them!

Serious…SERIOUS Question!

damadalpha — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 23:50:39 +0000

This is some serious stuff y’all…

Forreal…

As I have a 2 year old…I’ve lost sleep thinking about this question…

Ready?

WHO’S THE BIGGEST CHILDREN-SHOW JERK? Take the poll below!!!

Who's the biggest Jerk?

Swiper the Fox (from Dora the Explorer) or Oscar the Grouch (from Sesame Street)…

Swiper is a jerk. He steals things from Dora during while Dora and Friends are trying to save orphan animals. The thing is…Swiper DOESN’T EVEN KEEP THE STUFF HE STEALS…he just doesn’t want Dora to have it. What kind of ISH is that?!??

Oscar is a just an a-hole…always angry…slams his trash can door in people’s faces. His pet is a worm, and he’s just a nasty…nasty muppet. He treats Elmo the worst!…and who can be an a-hole to Elmo.

Serious Stuff y’all…

What are your thoughts!

To be Needed…

damadalpha — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 02:30:08 +0000

What’s up fam…

I don’t know what led me to think about this today…

oh yeah…I know what it was…i was listening to this song:

This is one of my favorite songs by Jilly from Philly. Jill goes WAY in on this song. When I first heard this song, it hit me so hard, and continues to hit me harder with each listen. She says…not only do I need you…but WE need you.

The concept of the song is so simple…so elementary…so uplifting. She’s able to express her need for a man, without looking or sounding weak; an expression that many modern women simply don’t know how to do. In our generation (Generation X’ers, Millennium Generation, etc), it is not common place to express the NEED of a man. But look at the statistics. 70% of all Black households are headed by a single mother…so, on some honest level, many women don’t feel the NEED for a man.

Jill’s NEED was deeper, though. Her need was spiritual…physical…existential. Her NEED wasn’t about making her, as a woman, feel better of loved or self-actualized…it was more like…WE NEED YOU…men…specifically, Black Men.

We need you around the house. We need your presence. We need your strength. We need you to teach our boys to hold their heads high. We need you to stabilize our communities….We need you to assist…We need you to lead! WE NEED YOU.

So many (black) men NEVER hear that. As a matter of fact…many media outlets joke about “men” and our need to FEEL needed. Do y’all understand how much sabotage is in that sentiment. It tells women that all they have to do is “make their men feel needed…” (even though you don’t REALLY need them). Does that make sense? That’s a set-up, y’all. I’ve heard women joke and laugh about keeping breaking things around the house so their husbands can fix it. LOL. Crazy, right?

Look at Jill’s face when she says “I NEED YOU…WE NEED YOU.” She means it. She sings “Even though I can do all these things…I need you..”

Please listen to this entire song…and reflect!

PS, If I and/or Jill weren’t married…she’d be singing to me, right now. LOL.